Decluttering -Recognising our own behaviours

Updated April 3rd, 2024

Being self-aware is an amazing quality to have.

It is the most important tool we could possess when thinking about our decluttering journey.

Recognizing our behaviours, our way of living and our habits allows a focused approach and the key to living a more organized life.

Decluttering and organizing our homes is only going to work long term if we are totally honest and approach the task openly.

Many of us make flippant comments like ‘I am such a hoarder’ and in fact we are not.

Hoarding can be a very serious, emotionally challenging condition.

So are you a hoarder? Or do you have a busy life with no systems in place?

Looking at the difference between the two is important.

Many of the clients I work with are busy families, with children at nursery and school.  Maintaining the constant hamster wheel of work, school, and home is a challenge and with some gentle help they can achieve a well-run and orderly home life.  Often, one big push and some simple solutions is all it takes to restore order.

But for some of my clients their problems run much deeper.  Hoarding can be a serious problem that can have a debilitating effect on their lives.

The issue runs much deeper than collecting Star Wars figures or Vogue magazines.  For many it is deep rooted and connected to childhood trauma.

For some who went hungry as a child their need to hoard food is a form of survival.  They store it up ‘just in case’.  They know in rational moments they are no longer at the mercy of someone else feeding them, but there is still the need to ensure their ‘stock’ does not get to any less than 10 tins of beans or five boxes of teabags.  By the time I get called in it is often that so much is out of date they feel ashamed for wasting items.

For others it is underwear and bedding.  For one lady she experienced lots of toilet accidents as a child and as she was being chastised for it, would often keep it a secret.  Hiding stained underwear became common place.  As an adult realizing she could buy her own underwear and bedding meant it became a compulsion and eventually a huge part of her hoarding.

To break the habit of hoarding you need to get to the root cause of the behaviour.

For me as a professional getting the balance right is important.  Too harsh and I can set people back, too gentle and the behaviour will continue.  There is never any judgement.  Judgement is unhelpful for everyone.  But a gentle guiding hand may be all that is needed to break old habits.

So are you a hoarder or are you someone who needs some guidance to regain order?

When you think about what you want to achieve, my advice? Be honest, be open and look inward.  Whether you are a hoarder, busy, messy or just don’t have the time the advice is the same… You are in control of your life and home.  No one else, no past version of you, only the person you want to be.

You’ve got this!

*please note permission has been given to share these two particular accounts-no names given for anonymity purposes*